Wednesday, 31 August 2011

George Formby... with a twist!

When I'm Killin' Youngsters
John Davies (with apologies to George Formby)

Now I go killin' youngsters I swear I'll never stop
For an undead zombie it's an interestin' job

Now it's a job that just suits me
More a vocation as you'll see
I've even done it in 3D
When I'm killin' youngsters

Hallowe’enin' couples too
You should see them scream in goo
There's no escape from what I do
When I'm killin' youngsters

In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll wield this blinkin' chainshaw
Til I make the last head drop

The bashful girl, she checks online
Her boyfriend's missed his curfew time
It's such a shame that none survive
When I'm killin' youngsters

The cheerleaders stand in the hall
In formation they don't fall
They'll never see that winning ball
When I'm killin' youngsters

I know a fella, much to tell
He likes to prank and fool as well
I think I'll send him straight to Hell
When I'm killin' youngsters

Oh, in my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll wield this blinkin' chainshaw
Til I make the last head drop

Pyjamas lyin' side by side
Ladies' nightmares I have spied
I've often killed them when inside
When I'm killin' youngsters

------ banjo ------

I'm always on the movie screen
Or failing that on DVD
There's fifteen sequels left in me
When I'm killin' youngsters

You'll never leave me far behind
As for logic... never mind
Best thing to do is run and hide
When I'm killin' youngsters

In my profession I'll work hard
But I'll never stop
I'll wield this blinkin' chainshaw
Til I make the last head drop

One young girl walks around the floor
She thinks that she's survived for sure
I'll drag her back in through the door
When I'm killin' youngsters.

When I'm killin' youngsters.

Friday, 29 July 2011

Somebody's Daughter

This "poem" has now been set to music by my dear friend and creative partner Nick Ryder - and has become a song.

It's "only" a demo at the moment - but it's a demo I can't stop playing!

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Elisabeth Sladen 1946 - 2011

Elisabeth Sladen 1946 - 2011

Fresh on the heels of Nicholas Courtney’s death came the news of Elisabeth Sladen’s passing.
I was sipping virtual cider in my silly Coffee Bar on Gallifrey Base when a friend posted the shocking news. And in that one word, shocking, rests the difference between these two keenly felt departures. Over the years, and especially in recent months, Fandom had started to prepare itself for the increasingly inevitable loss of Nicholas Courtney. When the news broke, while sad, there was a feeling of, “it’s happened,’ and a level headed period of mourning began. With Elisabeth Sladen, the news came like a bolt from the blue. Only months before we’d seen her defend the Earth from her attic in Ealing in the 4th series of SJA… and we were already starting to look forward to the 5th series. In any case, this was Elisabeth Sladen – the woman who defined what a Doctor Who companion should be TEN years after the role was created, the woman who came back to bridge the ‘gap’ between Classic and New Who… the woman who in one career stole the hearts of so many generations of fans. Of children.
This was… Sarah Jane Smith!
She couldn’t be dead.
Could she?
Sadly, she was.
In my life I have lived through the passing of so many Who stars. Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Jacqueline Hill, Verity Lambert, Anthony Ainley, John Nathan Turner, Barry Letts, Ian Marter… the list goes on. However, this one hit home hard – and, if I’m being honest, has all the hallmarks of a genuine grieving process. But it’s not a selfish grief, and I’m not just missing the lady herself. I’m lamenting the countless childhoods from the 1970s and the 2000/2010s now united in missing THEIR Sarah Jane… and those in the future who, although they will get to know her through DVD/BD, will never have Sarah in their lives in the way that we have had.
I was lucky enough to meet her on a number of occasions, but two really stand out. At a Watchers’ event in Sheffield she told me off for smoking – and I very nearly quit… hey, wouldn’t you if Sarah Jane told you to? Then, at a gathering in Manchester’s FAB cafĂ© I grabbed the questioning microphone and struggled to get across my compliment to her. For months people from Classic Who had been saying the new companions had better dialogue to work with… Gripping the mike tight I (hopefully not rudely) cut through something similar from Elisabeth stating, “You didn’t need the dialogue… You acted around it… between it. You were the original Rose!”
Rose was particularly popular at the time, and the room appeared to appreciate the sentiment.
I think Elisabeth did, too, as she signed my DVD, “The original Rose!”
To close, it came as no surprise that the recent CBBC tribute ended with the scene it did. Yes, the Hand of Fear freeze frame would have been nice, but it HAD to be that scene from School Reunion.
When Tennant’s Doctor caves in and says, ‘Goodbye… MY Sarah Jane…’ it is the most unique use of a personal pronoun ever. Although claiming her as his, in his delivery he allowed us to use his exclamation of that line as our own address to her… to tell her in that embrace that she was not only his but that she was also my …your… OUR Sarah Jane.
And she always will be.

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Time Coded

Coming soon... in audio.

Monday, 28 February 2011

Nicholas Courtney 1929 - 2011.

When I was a child, I hated football. I still do to this day. However, I did have something that I followed with same level of passion as the most fervent football fan. In the way they knew League positions, goals scored and transfer costs I knew the same level of detail about something else… a television show called, “Doctor Who”. Their liking made them lads, mine made me a geek. Hey ho.

What it also did was something far more important. It gave both my father and I a great arena for football like rivalry. He was always Team Pertwee. For my part, I knew that team was due for relegation and that he was wrong. The true Team, the Dream Team, was Team Troughton! Grab those recorders and toot them loud! Troughton! Troughton!

Our rivalry was fierce. Mock fierce. And it lasted. However, there was one who could unite us. As I teasing asked, “So, how many stories did YOUR Doctor fall unconscious in again?” and he playfully rebounded with a glare (my dad has a Pertwee like nose – believe me, that glare was all he had to do)… it would only take the mention of one man to make us both smile, put away our rivalry and nod in unison.

That man?

The Brigadier… Or, as it became increasingly important to call him, Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart!

In this one man we saw the truth. The Doctor was a splendid chap, all of him. And, more importantly, so was the Brigadier – the ally above all allies. What was even more important than that though was the fact that the actor who played him was equally wonderful and all embracing - of the Doctors, the show and of the fans.

When Team Pertwee played Team Troughton, neither champion even dreamed that they would one day meet their unifying light… but both did. A number of times. I met Nicholas Courtney as a nervous fan, an excited fan and once as a fan with a hangover (although I’m happy to say that he, too, had a sore head that Sunday morning at the first Regenerations). Every time he was polite, enthusiastic, warm, signed until he had blisters and never once made me feel as though he didn’t want to be there… or that he would rather I moved along as there were other people waiting behind me. When you talked to Nicholas Courtney you felt as though he wanted you there – it was a moment of union. That TV show was now in the real world and that man you admired, that actor you could quote his own lines to, was talking one on one with you. You left his company feeling blessed.

Now his company has left us, I still feel blessed – as I’m sure a great many other fans do, too.

Oh, in other news, Team Pertwee and Team Troughton have been bought. Yeah, it was a huge merger thing.

They now play for Courtney FC.